Twelve Piranha States Are Eating Us Alive, but One State Can Save Us

[This following op-ed originally appeared in the first issue of  The Matrix Gazette,

under the title “The 13 NEW States of the Union.”]

Twelve Piranha States Are Eating Us Alive, but One State Can Save Us

by Ken West

“The only power any government has is the power to crack down on criminals. Well, when there aren’t enough criminals, one makes them. One declares so many things to be a crime that it becomes impossible for men to live without breaking laws.”

—Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

“The right to be let alone is indeed the beginning of all freedom.”

—Justice William O. Douglas

Come with me for a brief journey...

While many of us have been busy doing other things, the United States has grown gluttonous for power. Most of us have been under the delusion that there are only fifty states in the Union. We’d be wrong. There are now sixty-three States!

Twelve of the new States are hungry monsters.  Let’s call them “Piranha States.” Fortunately, one other State can still save us from being eaten alive.

Let’s fly over these new States, and see what we’re up against. Then we’ll visit the one good State that can save us. Let’s go…

For your convenience, we’ve prepared the following fact sheet as we fly over each state.

The Surveillance State

State Motto: “We’re watching you, and listening too—yes to YOU!”

State Capital: Somewhere in the Desert

Secret Mission: To know everything about everybody.

State Bird: Snooping Swoop

Main Products: Reams of records of every phone call, Tweet, Facebook posting, letter, post card, etc., etc., etc., and, Drones

State of War

State Motto: “Protecting the world from itself.”

State Capital: Everywhere on Planet Earth (plus a few undisclosed outposts in space)

Secret Mission: Find (or start) another war.

State Bird: Killer Hawk

Main Products: Foreign Wars; War on Terror; War on Drugs

The Regulatory State

State Motto: “Regulate – Regulate – Regulate.”

State Capital: Washington, DC

Secret Mission: Regulate them ‘til they cry “Uncle Sam.”

State Bird: Pirouetting Parrot

Main Products: Regulations, directives, edicts, executive orders, mountain ranges of paper

Nanny State

State Motto: “We’ll wrap you little suckers in warm flannel and protect you from harming yourselves, ‘cause We, the Enlightened Ones, know best what’s good for you.”

Dual State Capital: Michelle Obama's Office, White House, and Mayor's Office, NYC

Secret Mission: Control these ignoramuses.

State Bird: Brooding Hen

Main Products: Hot air, propaganda, and more regulations

Enforcement State

State Motto: “One wrong move and we’ll nail your sorry ass to the wall.

State Capital: SWAT Team, U.S.A.

Secret Mission: Power.

State Bird: Sharp Shinned Hawk

Main Products: Battering rams, tanks, military tactics, brass knuckles, truncheons

The Bankrupt State

State Motto: “We can’t afford a state motto, but we’ll pretend we can.”

State Capital: Washington, DC., U.S.A.

Secret Mission: Prevent anyone from noticing that we’re broke.

State Bird: Albatross

Main Products: Paper money, higher prices, more debt

State of Taxation

State Motto: “If it moves—tax it. If it makes money—tax it. If it’s dead—tax it to make sure.”

State Capitol: Wherever You Suckers Live, U.S.A.

Secret Mission: It’s no secret.

State Bird: Bonestripping Vulture

Main Products: Tax audits, fear, uncertainty, bad economics.

The Bureaucratic State

State Motto: “Let’s all be like the Post Office.”

State Capital: Every Nook & Cranny, U.S.A.

Secret Mission: Keep them waiting. Then, when they reach the front of the line, tell them they’re too late.

State Bird: Belligerent Buzzard

Main Products: Long lines, forms to fill out, more lines.

The Entitlement State

State Motto: “So What if Medicare Bankrupts the Country. We’ll just pay the doctors less.”

State Capital: (We had to sell the farm.)

Secret Mission: ObamaCare for All

State Bird: Portly Pigeon

Main Products: Dependency and Bankruptcy

The Welfare State

State Motto: “Food Stamps for All.”

State Capital: Detroit.

Secret Mission: Turn the country into a huge Detroit.

State Bird: Mooching Magpie

Main Products: Slums.

State of Denial

State Motto: “Ignore that we’re bankrupt, and keep spending money we don’t really have”

State Capital: Washington, DC

Secret Mission: Keep denying there’s a problem.

State Bird: The Oblivious Ostrich

Main Products: Excuses and denials.

State of Uncertainty

State Motto: “Keep them guessing—always.”

State Capital: Wherever, U.S.A.

Secret Mission: Even we don’t know what our secret mission is.

State Bird: Dodo Bird

Main Products: ObamaCare, and Unemployment.

Finally, we come to the one State that still has the power to save our assess from the Piranha States

State of Awareness

State Motto: “Learn what’s happening. Think.  Trust Yourself. Take action.”

State Capital: Wherever You Are, and willing to question authority

Secret Mission: (That’s our secret.)

State Bird: The Eagle

Main Products: Knowledge, Thought and Action; Intellectual Ammunition, including the great books and documents of liberty.

In the meantime, start spending more time in the State of Awareness. Won't cost you airfare because you’re already there. Welcome. Let’s get busy.

“If you want total security, go to prison. There you're fed, clothed, given medical care and so on. The only thing lacking... is freedom.”—Dwight D. Eisenhower

∞

Ken West is a former U.S. Army paratrooper and the author of Get What You Want available worldwide on Amazon.com and other fine online booksellers. West is a former President of the New England Chapter of the National Speakers Association, and Association of Objectivist Businessmen. He is currently the Program Manager for an international training and consulting firm.